an unsaved idiot would believe the Japs forgot about Hiroshima and
As Godly Baptist Christians, we recognize that the Japs have been
to invade America since the day we humiliated them and sent them into
history books as a race of short-sighted, nin-com-poop's. Even though
Japs run around with their eyes half shut, it doesn't mean they can't
straight! With the help of Satan, Japs have secretly declared war on
by using the Pokémon menace to brainwash our youth into
their fat murdering Buddha as God.
Baptists, we have absolutely no doubt that the Japs are in league
with Satan. They see the world in a horizontal slant. This is due to
physical characteristics of their eyes. Sources confirm that the
(and all Mongoloids living in America) have per capita, the worst
records in the history of the automotive industry. They can make cars,
but God forbid someone put them behind the wheel of one! Their insanity
becomes even more obvious to those of us who observe them as they
pray to the little fat man who sits outside their restaurants.
experts tell us that children who see the new Pokémon
film are almost immediately changed, both physically and emotionally.
minute they leave the theater they become pocket 'problem' children for
parents who are too stupid to realize it is Satan himself working
their child. The brainwashed children skip and prance about, singing
about pocket demons and love songs to Lucifer. They ignore their
commands to 'SHUT THE LIVING HELL UP!.' There have been reports of
actually going through physical changes after seeing the Pocket Demon
more than once. One parent (Mrs. Macel Thornhill of Landover Baptist)
that her child's eyes seemed 'smaller' and 'slanted upward.' "My little
Henry's head was sloped in such a way that he looked like a little
Christmas elf without the hat." Mrs. Thornhill said. "My husband
it too. He said little Henry looked like a Japansy."
Baptist Church will not sit still and watch the Japanese turn
America's youth into Japanese youth! We will not allow the Japs to
this 'sneak attack' on our families! They are turning our kids into a
of Mongrels! Junior Satanists, prepared to wage war against their
Pokémon film has been banned altogether in Iowa. "It might
be too late for some of our children," Pastor Smith remarked,
of youths are turning Japanese even as I relate this Godly warning!
pocket demons are attacking parents, jumping on children's legs and
sexual acts, they are the work of the Devil's Jap Demons!"
Landover Baptist is
currently lobbying congress to make Pokémon
illegal in all 50 states. Landover Baptist Pastor, Deacon Fred remarks,
"There are going to be a lot of little sissy babies crying for their
fix, but they'll get over it." If we don't ban these things soon, the
step will be an armed invasion. They didn't learn their lesson the
time around, maybe the only thing they understand is 200 Megatons of
dropped on one of their major cities. These are our children we are
about! If we close our eyes to this, we will all be Japanese by year's
end! Mark my word!"